What I wore: mascara, earrings, two silver bracelets and watch; tall Fluevog boots (to cover the apricot-sized hole in my tights); navy eShakti dress with 3/4 sleeves, draped neck, and a bird embroidered on the skirt; tan cashmere Boden cardigan that reminds me of my Aunt Mary (the one who lived with my grandparents); grabbed my black Northface raincoat at the last minute because it was raining.
What I did beforehand: ate spicy ramen and tried (and failed) to drink a Japanese beer that tasted like soap
Who went with me: the Graduate, because the Bacon Provider left at noon for a business trip #neverstopsworking
How I got tickets: online, a month ago, when tickets were still available
First of three plays this week pic.twitter.com/iJoPsQJ6Ul— Hamster d'Relish (@hamsterRelish) April 11, 2016
Why I saw this show: A show you're not supposed to learn about in advance?! A show with a different starring actor each week?! A show I'm not going to be able to give my readers any details about?! Yes, all around.
What it is: I have been asked not to say what it is. I can say that every time this show is performed, a different actor does it, receiving the script in an envelope onstage at the beginning. Last week I saw Mike Birbiglia's show, and this week, he was the actor in this play. This was a coincidence.
I am seeing a play I'm not supposed to google and I'm not supposed to tell you about afterwards— Hamster d'Relish (@hamsterRelish) April 11, 2016
Where I sat: third row, left
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| I got a papercut on my pinky but you can't see it |
Things that were sad: Sometimes, when I see someone I want to point out to the person I am with, I'll point the person out and say, "Oh, look, Elvis Presley," even though, you know, Elvis is dead and has been totally dead for like a pretty long time. It's not a very funny joke, I guess, but it's something I've done for so long I don't know if I'd be able to stop if I wanted to. The other, even more annoying thing I used to do, but did stop doing was saying, "Oh, look, your date is here."
Things that were funny: Ira Glass was in our audience, but when Mike Birbiglia said something about it, I thought somehow he was making the same, dumb joke that I do, saying, because someone looks like Ira Glass, "Oh, hey, look, Ira Glass."
Things that were not funny: Mike Birbiglia is much funnier than me.
The audience appears to be humanoid— Hamster d'Relish (@hamsterRelish) April 11, 2016
Who should see it: There are things about New York that make it much too hard for ordinary people to live there. For one thing, it's unreasonably expensive. For another thing, ordinary everyday things you have to do to live, like buying food or going outside, can be intensely crowded and smelly and generally terrible. If you ask anyone who says they love New York why they love New York, they will give you a list of things that is exactly the same as the list I might give you of things I hate about New York. But, if, somehow, you have to live in New York, or near New York, or you've been magicked into thinking you should visit New York, you should actually attend as much in the way of live theater (and/or music and dance) as you can. Because only in a city as fantastically harsh as New York could you, in the darkness of a slightly shabby theater in a moderately uncomfortably and definitely overpriced seat, experience a few moments of utterly transformative performance. Or, then again, it might suck. But at least you'll get a blog post out of it.
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| Only assholes take pictures while they drive |
What I saw on the way home: The Saw Mill Parkway is closed for construction at night somewhere north of Harrison, so every time I come back late from now until July, I'm going to have to go through the detour, or go around the detour. Last night I attempted to go around the detour. The navigator in my car tried to send me back through the roads that are clearly closed, even showing the closed sections with a giant red circle with an X in the middle. Maybe next time I'll try the detour the construction crews have set out for me. Or, I won't. I imagine that I will do it differently every time.
You have reached the law offices of Elvis, Birbiglia and Glass, please hold.
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