Still Yet Another Absolutely True and Completely Unexpected Message #2

Dear Sir,

On behalf of the Federal Government of Nigeria FGN/ Presidency and the Federal minister of Finance (FMF), I wish to bring to your knowledge that the Federal Government of Nigeria FGN, have decided to bring a lasting solution to all long delayed payments. We have received a lot of complains from different Countries saying that the Nigerian Government refused to release their payment and we want to correct that impression. Right now the Federal Government of Nigeria has instructed the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to offset every payment owed all the foreign beneficiaries through Atm-Card and it will be monitored by me to ensure accurate and decent delivery to every beneficiary to avoid any hitch. This method of payment has been tested

and confirmed as the fastest and safest means of paying foreign beneficiaries their money. I am Her Excellency, Mrs. Patience Dame Goodluck representing the Federal Government of Nigeria/Presidency to make the announcement for 2013 payment.

The Federal minister of Finance (FMF) in joint venture with the Central Bank of Nigeria, will commence action immediately we hear from you.

President, Jonathan Ebele Goodluck (GCFR) my (husband), has made funds available through our FUEL SUBSIDY REMOVAL, just to make absolutely sure that the Central Bank of Nigeria CBN offset all debts. We have the official list of all the beneficiaries whose names are listed down. Now we are getting in touch to all the beneficiaries who have not received email regarding their payment. Please do not inconvenience us if you have received your payment. But if you have not, kindly contact us back in your return mail with your full information for immediate action, this was the order given to me by Mr. President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (my husband) & the Honorable Minister for Finance. Dr. Mrs. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala.

Regards

Mrs. Patience Goodluck,

Her Excellency, First Lady Federal Republic of Nigeria,

I started laughing after, "Dear Sir," and had to collect myself after seeing, "Nigeria," in the first line. I wonder if there is some sort of scam inside Nigeria where people are taught how to make these mass emails at some cost to themselves.

I might also point out that if you set an automatic "out-of-office" reply on your work email, you will automatically reply to any incoming messages of this kind. 

Mostly, I wonder who does reply to these, and how the fraudsters benefit.

Lastly, if you enjoy these kinds of posts, you can check out others here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Actual transcript of chat help session with Comcast

Margaret > I need my phone number NON-PUBLISHED NOW

Edson > Hello Margaret, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Edson. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Edson > Thank you so much for this great opportunity for me to extend the many wonderful things from Comcast, Margaret. I hope you haven't waited so long to be assisted. How are you doing today?

Margaret > fine. new account. Need my number to be non-published immediately

Edson > That's good. Margaret, I see here that you want your phone number to be non-published. Are you referring to not having your phone number show up when you call out on the other ends caller ID?

Margaret > No. Non-published. Not available or listed, as it was with Qwest.

Edson > Thank you for clarifying. Margaret, I understand that you have a concern in having your phone number unpublished immediately. We appreciate your interest about it. I know that it is important to have our phone number not listed in any directories for privacy purposes.

Edson > Do not worry; as your service representative today, your satisfaction is my top priority. I will do my best so that your phone number will be unpublished right away, Margaret.

Edson > So we can ensure protection to your account, I will need you to provide me with the last 4 of your Account holder's SSN.

Margaret > ####

Edson > Thank you. I have pulled your account, please let me share with you one of features from Comcast, do you want to watch full TV shows and movies online? You can actually go to click http://www.xfinitytv.com . It's fun, entertaining, easy to access, and above all, it's free and is available to everyone 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Edson > First of, please be aware that there is a monthly charge for having your phone number unpublished.

Edson > Please give me 2 minutes to check the rate.

Margaret > ok

Edson > Margaret, there will be a monthly charge that will be added to your bill of $2 for having your phone number unpublished. Would you like to proceed?

Margaret > yes yes yes please

Edson > Thank you. Please allow the system to process the order within the next hour to have your phone number totally unpublished.

Edson > Please give me 2-3 minutes to process the order.

Margaret > thank you

Edson > You're most welcome.

Edson > Thank you for waiting, Margaret. I'm glad to inform you that I have successfully added non-published on your account. Your number now will not be listed in any directories. Here is your the confirmation number for your reference: ###############

Margaret > thank you edson

Edson > You're most welcome.

Edson > Margaret, it has been my pleasure adding the non-published feature on your account as you have requested.

Edson > By the way, can I ask a little favor from you to answer the 4 question survey(YES/NO answer)? I promise that it would be really quick.

Margaret > Excellent. Stay dry. Be well.

Edson > Thank you. You can view the survey by clicking on END SESSION button.

Margaret > right on bro

Edson > Do you have any other concerns aside from your non-publish issue, Margaret? If there is, I would be glad to assist you further.

Margaret > nope I’m outta here

Edson > Analyst has closed chat and left the room