Reach up with your chubby arms and grab that little hat with your tiny fingers,
Pull as hard as you can and throw off the sun-bonnet or the knit cap.
Throw it to the ground.
Wrestle free from the nylon safety straps of your stroller,
The belt of the shopping cart,
The five point harness of your approved child safety car seat.
Climb free of the sling.
Burst forth from the adjustable, front or back facing baby carrier.
This is the only time in your lives you cannot get in trouble, Babies!
You will have no time-outs, no pink slips, no additions to your permanent record, no detentions, no penalties, no garnishing of wages.
Scream and cry for all you’re worth because someone will quickly come and take care of whatever little thing is wrong.
Kick free of your diapers and pee in the faces of your caregivers.
Crawl off, pausing only to poop on the floor.
For today, Babies, you are no more than pets,
Milk it for every moment that you can.
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